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The affection she heaped on me. The smiles I felt from within were coming back as strong as if it were yesterday. What an eye opener. “Really…is all I could think”. When you have loved someone…the feeling never really dies….merely is subdued with the sands of time. When the situation presents itself…the hourglass is shattered and the sands flow freely to the floor leaving nothing hidden. My heart was pounding, palms sweaty and stomach was making me feel ill. It was like I was 20 years old again and I feelings I had when I saw her then were all back with a vengeance. Where the hell was that life lesson….believe me…I was taking notes now and paying attention. We pulled up to the gate and the typical scurrying began. People were scurrying around grabbing their carry-on’s and I was stuck in my seat. “Oh Shit…Oh Shit” and the what if’s started to flood my mind. What if she was not here. It would be my luck….and deservedly so. Holy hell…what if she was feeling the same way I was? My. I no longer observed propriety and had no concern for permission. Lauraresponded to my audacity with incredible passion. She once whispered in myear, ?Use me! Just use me!? Once, when I looked surprised at her obscene words she kissed me and said, ?I’m yours Victor. I never asked for kid gloves!?The great irony and beauty of it is that Laura was always meant to be aslave and I. a Master. By the time my son was 16 years old Laura wasnearly rightless in the invisible terms of our ?middle class? marriage ina small town. When she spoke to me she spoke to me in ways that I deigned. Whenshe dressed and accoutered it was by my direction. When she moved,she moved exactly as pleased me and only me. Most importantly whenwe fucked, it was as, when and how I chose.It was fortune that my son went across the continent to school whenhe was 18. It may not have been so fortunate for Laura. I was now 46 yearsold and Laura was 41. Because of living in a small community where everyone knew.
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